My Diwali memories
Anjor, you always say to me that we should do something special on Diwali or Christmas to make family memories. Let me let you today that memories cannot be made, they are formed out of nothing and everything. Now that the Diwali is drawing closer, I am more broken thinking about my mom. This is my first Diwali without her and it brings back all the memories from my childhood, of all the Diwalis I spent with my parents. After marriage I got carried away by my new family, my husband, then you were born and I had somehow forgotten all those Diwalis. But now I distinctly remember them.
One such Diwali was in Jawaharnagar, G type quarter numbered 51/3. It was my dad's factory quarters. It was our home. Sandeep mama was 3 years old and I was 5. I remember getting up early to be done with our showers before the sunrise, or we might end up in hell as the Narakasur demon would then take us there. We didn't know what the death was, what the heaven and hell was but we believed that it was a day when we have to be up early. Our mom would make the thali ready with the diya, akshata (turmeric-kunku mixed rice), a gold ring supari and turmeric and vermilion or kunku. Our aai would do the aarti and baba would be heating up the water in the backyard over a makeshift stow made by placing three bricks each on the three sides of a square and burning natural wood and coal as fuel. The temperatures would be between 5 to 15 degree celsius and the warm water bath would feel good. Aai would massage us with the coconut oil before we would take our Diwali bath when we were supposed to apply ubtan (powder of so many nice herbs including sandalwood, neem, turmeric etc). I also remember using Moti soap, which had rose or sandalwood fragrances, especially only during Diwali. This Moti soap is so special to me that if you remember even now I buy it during Diwali. It brings back those memories.
We would get 3 pairs of new clothes on Diwali. I do not remember my parents buying much of new clothes for themselves, but we were pampered. Sandeep and Sameer mamas would always have similar shirts and pants. I particularly remember the terricot material shirt which had small geometrical design in red/orange colours. I remember both my brothers as very small. How I wish we had time travel and could revisit those days, when we had no worries of the world and could fight and be petty with each other and complain about all that to our parents. Teasing and fighting with the siblings and then running away from each other and hugging mom around her knees. I still can feel the touch of her saree, smell the food she cooked.
Yes the food would be another reason for our excitement, because for the next couple weeks our everyday breakfast would be ladoo, chivda, chakli, shankarpali, anaarse and karanjis. In those days these sweet and snack items were not commonly available year round and were made only during Diwali.Our mom was the best cook, so much that we would dread eating faral at any other house than ours. I don't remember being of much help to her during those days. She would alone make around 10 lbs of chaklis and I could not even stand the frying in the kitchen even when I was 15. I would just help in frying for initial half an hour or so and then she would do it all alone. She used to make the best anarsaas but I would like to eat the raw dough and she would keep some aside for me always.
Another Diwali in Jabalpur, I remember she got stitched a brown coloured salwar kameez for me and I hated it. I used to love soft and light colours and my favorite was yellow. She thought brown would look good on me and I think it did too, but my ego didn't want to admit it. When we are close we always do things to please each other but also don't accept it. I don't remember much hugging and kissing her as I grew big. I was the eldest and think I grew big too soon..... I remember Aai saying that once. I did not understand it then but now I think it was her love or her regret for not having much time to pamper her first born.
And now as we are heading towards the Diwali week I am dreading to face it. From October 31st, I want the Calendar to jump directly to November 6th this year. It doesn't happen that way right? I will have to go through the Diwali this year and remember those memories of bathing before dawn, mom doing our aarti and massaging us with that smile on her face, the water being heated in the backyard, us lighting those small earthern lamps at our doorstep, my mom making the best Rangoli in the street (she was an artist and had won so many prizes for her Rangoli), we then eating the Faral fast to be able to go out and burn some of those fire crackers and have fun with our friends.
All these and many more memories are so fresh in my mind now that I can clearly see them in spite of the tears flooding my eyes.
